Still Alive

13686492_10154236711202211_93610658222495883_nI’m just beginning week three of the summer holidays and I’m still here. Just.

It’s not that I don’t love spending time at home with the children – I do.

We have a huge garden for them to play in, plenty of gadgets and toys to keep them entertained (not that you’d know it) and enough spare cash to have the odd day out.

It’s just….

I don’t do people. I like silence and stillness.

The children giggling, screaming and singing is as tiring as listening to the children squabble, bicker and fight. In some ways it’s worse. When they’re fighting I can yell, ‘Enough!’ every ten minutes, not that it does much good. When they’re loud because they’re loving life, I have to try and enjoy it and not feel how it’s stripping my skin away like a potato peeler.

But I’m learning.

I’m learning that the shattered exhaustion will go away after I get a few days (hours, minutes?) of silence.

I’m learning that if I take myself off to nap, they will eventually play a game together, and possibly even not fight for a whole ten minutes.

I’m learning that I can work while they’re at home (I’ve had some audio-typing to do) as long as I don’t mind it taking twice as long and sapping the last of my strength.

I’m learning that if I spell it out to them that they can have sweets as long as they’ve had two portions of fruit and veg they will actually listen to that, even if the ‘fruit’ is raisins and the ‘veg’ is baked beans.

I’m learning to lower my expectations of myself and to not try and create a Facebook-friendly life. Although I do post the odd set of photos, it’s usually with titles like ‘just to prove to my children they did have a fun day out’ and ‘trying to be a Pinterest mum’.

13895340_10154251767422211_7588253192972986606_nAnd we have had fun.

We’ve been to the farm and Anglesey Abbey, we’ve made giant bubbles and crystals and collages. We’ve done some study (to earn iPad games) and baked way too many cakes and cookies. We’ve had mini piano lessons and karate.

Oh yes, I decided I was a grown-up after all and it wasn’t for my daughter to tell me I couldn’t take part in something, so I started karate too. My goodness it’s harder than it looks!

Anyway, that’s about all the words I have in my cluttered head. I’m off to do some knitting whilst being an attentive audience to a piano composition and a drum solo (quite possibly at the same time) before dragging the kids to Waitrose for my much-needed daily caffeine intake.

Survival. With plenty of coffee and cake and a little bit of STFU.

 

8 thoughts on “Still Alive

  1. Love it. This is one of those posts that make me feel good because now I know I’m not the only one. Woke up at 5:00 this morning despite being exhausted; I’m quite sure that it was my brain demanding the only quiet alone time I’ll get all day! I need to be like you and go ahead and write (or whatever) even if the conditions aren’t ideal. I hope you have a great day! 🙂

  2. I can totally relate to your pain, I too have a love of quiet. My son started summer vacation in May and goes back to school next week. I am counting the days. I tried to limit him to two hours of screen time a day but some days I just enjoyed the quiet too much to end it. I tried to find the right balance of giving him space to do his own things and “dragging” him out on adventures. We both survived so I guess the balance wasn’t too off.

    • You deserve some kind of award for such a long school vacation. I don’t think my children would enjoy it any more than I would. Well, maybe my son, he’s a Mummy’s boy, but my daughter can’t wait to see the back of me and play with her friends!

      • My son is excited about school starting. I am happy he likes school and that going back won’t be a battle. Now bedtime is another story! I wish the summer break was shorter and they got 3 or 4 weeks off in the fall instead and an extra week or two at Christmas. Oh well. We did do a couple of trips early in the break but the last few weeks have kind of dragged. The monsoon weather hasn’t helped. But next week at this time I will be in a blissfully quiet house!

  3. I am lucky enough to have a son who is like me, so occasionally we will spend a day in something close to silence building lego stuff. Even so, it’s still tough. Other times he wants to run around and play football which makes me feel bad about my disabilities! You are not alone.

    We are lucky to have McOther’s birthday in August so the last couple of days we’ve been making his present! 😉 Always a good focus that one.

    Cheers

    MTM

    • Yes, one on one isn’t so bad, especially if it’s with my son because he and I can coexist fairly peacefully. My daughter has been super loving this holiday, as she’s missing her friends, but there’s still plenty of eye roll and sass! Lol.

      • Yeh, it kind of helps that my lad thinks he is the best in the world at everything so if any of my craft stuff turns out better he doesn’t seem to notice too much. He used to, it used to be terrible, but not anymore thank heavens.

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